As I sit here grading on a lovely Sunday afternoon, the breeze floating in through my window and catching corners of grammar tests to tempt them off the table and out into the day, I ask myself, what am I doing here again? It's groundhog day (thank you, Ethan for the image) and I am back in school again. I hated school! Every assignment was torturous. I have wiped the whole horrible memory of it all so well from my brain that I desire to go back to grad school.
My conclusion? Teaching is masochism. It taunts you with potentially wonderful friends (my students) you instead are forced to grade and discipline. It requires you to hold those who most interest you at arms length so as not to play favorites. It takes the joy out of any material that intrigues you as you must review it, and review it again so as not to make an idiot of yourself in front of the class. Not to mention you now associate that theme with the sick feeling you have in your stomach when you are in front of a critical audience.
Teaching is bad for one's health. It requires you eat and pee and sleep and read at odd times without any say. It gives you sore throats. It exposes you to 100's of people's germs you wouldn't otherwise come in contact with.
Teaching is bad for one's wardrobe. It forces you to live on an inhumane wage and scrimp on shopping at the very time you find yourself in front of crowds of Italians and Japanese every day. And don't lets speak again about the close-toed shoes rule.
Yet if I'm honest, without teaching, I wouldn't know wonderful people in the world like 11 year-old Lucas in Argentina who called me on the 4th of July after two years of silence to say "Hi, Miss Morris" (my maiden name). I recognized his voice immediately.
Without teaching I wouldn't know Ippei, this 20 year-old Japanese sweetheart in my class who plays base guitar and wears purple Keds everyday. I wouldn't get to hear his nightmarish, yet entertaining stories of the cabby who robbed him of $220 US for a taxi ride from one end of JFK airport to the other.
I would never have been close to my friends in Spain or have had the experience of being a missionary. I would never have found an awed appreciation for all those professors in college who received my anonymous but scathing reviews (forgive me, Lord!) I wouldn't have the guts to say, "no" to my kids or the authority to tell them what I want from them.
I would never have heard the story of my Korean female student Do Yoon who went to a vegetarian restaurant, saw a "Chickpea sandwich" on the menu and told the waitress with disgust, "I can't believe Americans eat baby chickens!"
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4 comments:
almost makes me want to rush out and teach someone...
YES!! I made Laura's blog! I'm published! I'm validated!! And I happen to agree: teaching blows. I substitute taught for three years. But that's really a misnomer, because it was barely substituting, and it sure wasn't teaching. Laura, if you want a career change, become a CRA. You get paid to literally walk in the middle of medical institutions and tell people what they did wrong. It's great. Oh and you get to meet hot babes. But that probably wouldn't interest you.
I'm sorry. I go now.
haha laura!! i was in cape cod visiting my nieces and nephews,and the five year old was like, "i only read calvin and hobbes." and i was like haha, do you know the one about the smock? and he was like "SMOCK SMOCK SMOCK SMOCK smock SMOCK SMOCK SMOCK!"
without teaching we wouldn't have Mayuka's voice in our head saying, "Hi Laula".:) miss u
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